This is Raspil again, moving for the last time. You’re in the right place. And for those of you who want content… I doubt you have the time to read it all.
Everyone does a generic bio essay on their site, and since I hate those, I’m doing a timeline. Listed will be mostly important events, so expect gaps. Facts are in black, sordid truths that have shaped me into the person I am are in bold, and sarcasm is in italics. All times (and names) are approximate.
December 6, 1974: I’m born in Palestine, Texas.
1977: I write my first poem.
1979: My parents split up. My dad moves to Miami, my mom and I move to Salt Lake City, Utah, where her family lives.
June 7, 1985: My parents remarry and move us all to Austin, Texas.
1988: I started high school.
December 1989: Dating Jon. Have bad break-up with him 8 months later, then lose virginity. Had first alcoholic beverage (wine) at one of Jon’s brother’s friend’s parties.
Summer 1991: I discover Soundgarden.
Fall 1991: Senior year in high school. Officer in band, yearbook editor. Geek? I don’t think so. I was being too bad to be a geek. Begin work on my first novel, written in 3rd person.
April 1992: Went to first Soundgarden show.
May 1992: I graduate high school. I’m 77th in my graduating class of about 250. There’s just some things you remember.
September 1992: I start ACC to get my feet wet in school. I take mega-bullshit courses – American History, Sociology, and Philosophy. Next semester I start taking prerequisites for the Surgical Technology program.
December 6, 1992: Turned 18. Had an intense out-of-body experience that helped me discover my male alter-ego. This caused me to start a fanzine called “Arthur’s Cousin”. This zine is in circulation for about 4-5 years (about 95% of the articles included in this site are from AC, but I still write new ones when I have time and inspiration).
February 1993: Discovered LSD with a strange Greek guy who I date for 2 months.
April 1993: Met Chris at school. Date him for 2 years.
June 1994: First car. Blue 1970 Plymouth Satellite. Bastard made it to San Antonio and back with no transmission fluid. Only reason to go to San Antonio was to see Soundgarden for a second time.
August 8, 1994: Graduate the Surgical Technology program with a 3.4 average and over 55 college credits to my name. As I try to get back into college 4 years later, these two feats mean nothing to the admissions board. My first taste of getting screwed by the system. More will follow.
Late August 1994: My first tattoo. The alchemist symbol for Autumn. Everyone else thinks it’s a snake wearing a top hat. Rewrote my novel in 1st person. Improves the story immensely.
November 1994: My first job as a surgical assistant. I worked for a plastic surgeon in private practice.
December 3, 1994: My second tattoo. Alchemist symbol for borax tattooed around the top of my left arm. Circumferential.
April 1995: Chris and I break up, and it was mutual. We do remain friends, but only for 6 more years.
May 1995: Met Jamie at a Breedlove show.
September 1995: Got second car (light tan 1986 Oldsmobile Delta 88) by saving money from work. Third tattoo. Australian mandala on lower middle of back. Arrested days later for going through the metal detector at the county courthouse with a double-edged blade in my backpack (a gift from the Greek). Will spend $1500 on a lawyer and 90 hours doing community service. People guilty of DWI get less punishment than I did.
December 6, 1995: Turned 21. Got shitfaced with Jamie’s sister at 75-cent night at Maggie Mae’s.
October 1996: Jamie breaks up with me. I act like a moron.
November 1996: Becoming tired of plastic surgery. Heard an ad for bartending school on the radio and signed up. Met Devon. Introduced to drugs. Hello, drugs! Where have you been all my life? See Soundgarden for the third and final time. Maternal grandfather dies.
December 1996: First bartending job. Stayed there for 6 weeks.
February 1997: Devon and I get our first place together. Got second bartending job at disgusting strip club. Introduced to speed. Hello, speed! After this, some details are sketchy.
May 1997: Devon decides to cool things off. Then we go camping at the Kerrville Folk Festival for 3 weeks. Kerrville changes my life in a way that can’t be explained in words. Paternal grandfather dies.
June 1997: Re-hired at strip club. Drugs are rampant, easily found, and I start doing stupid shit.
September 1997: Fourth tattoo — Chinese symbol for Tiger on left shoulderblade.
October 1997: Quit the strip club after continued abuse. Go on bender. Hired a week later at club on 6th Street in Austin. This was a goal I had set when I started bartending school.
February 1998: Move into my own place in a part of Austin that I’d always wanted to live in. I had a 425 square foot apartment costing $420 a month. More drugs, and now booze is starting to be a problem. Start cocaine use.
March 1998: First time Leo comes into my bar. Orders a large margarita. Fifth tattoo — the sign for Sagittarius that I designed myself at work (then went across the street and had it done).
May 1998: Kerrville for 3 weeks. Learned about human nature.
Summer 1998: Worked as a temp in medical records. Living near poverty level, yet I still manage to stay high. Got Indica in July to counter the depression I was beginning to sink into.
October 1998: Landed dream job as a proofreader/courier for a medical transcription company. Lived 10 minutes away. Would go home for lunch every day for a bump and a nooner (Devon was living with me at the time. He was welcome as long as he kept me fucked up and didn’t smoke cigarettes in the house).
Last week of October 1998: Had first blackout on tequila. Took a road trip to Pennsylvania on my own for a week.
February 1999: Deeply in debt, I moved back home. Stopped doing speed on my own.
April 1999: Met Leo officially.
May 1999: Kerrville. Out of the 26 days I was there, I was sober for 2 or 3.
Summer 1999: Looked for work non-stop. Landed a job in medical records at a ritzy women’s health clinic.
Fall 1999: Started drinking and acting stupid again. This threatens my relationship with Leo more times than I can count. Started first website.
November 6, 1999: Olds dies. Buy 1992 white Cadillac Sedan DeVille.
December 5, 1999: Did cocaine for the last time.
December 6, 1999. Turned 25. Haven’t touched it since.
January 2000: Quit job. Couldn’t take it anymore.
March 4, 2000: Saw Chris Cornell at La Zona Rosa. Can die happy now.
April 20, 2000: Hired at another clinic in medical records. Will soon drive me to contemplating suicide and mass murder of my co-workers.
May 2000: Go to Kerrville. Realize that Leo and I are not long for this world. This was to be my last Festival.
June 2000: Leo decides “we’re not right for each other.” I agonize over this for the next year.
January 1, 2001: Drunk, horny, and gullible, I sleep with Chris, who had been married for almost a year. This is all in the archives. Parents decide that they want to move back to SLC because life in Austin sucks ass. I am opposed to going at first, but then realize that I have nothing keeping me in Texas.
March 2001: House goes on market. Finally sells in June. Much stress during these months of waiting.
May 29, 2001: Mom, cat, and I take 24 hours to get to Utah. Dad follows 10 days later.
June 2001: Decided I want to be a freelance webdesigner so I could be my own boss and not work for “people” ever again.
I know things got kind of concentrated near the end, but the last few years have been a test of strength.
Some other details are here.
– not in any particular order
1. What’s your real name?
I’m not comfortable with that. It won’t make a difference, anyway.
2. Are you really this much of a bitch?
I don’t think I am. I’m widely misunderstood, though. I’m honest yet can be tactless; sometimes, if someone has a differing opinion from me, I sometimes won’t listen. My rising sign is Taurus and my Scorpio is in Mars — I’m not afraid of confrontation, especially if I’m right. If someone thinks I’m a bitch, it’s just because they don’t get me. Also, I find it easier to get your point across with humor, rather than assuming your entire audience uses AOL and treating them like shit. That’s not good P.R. A lot of people who are younger than me tend to not understand that, and think it’s cool to cuss people out for no reason. I think it just makes them look like white trash and I don’t visit them again.
3. Where’s your guestbook? I want to talk shit about you in it!
I don’t keep a guestbook. If someone wants to get in contact with me, they can email me. I’ve had shit talked about me in guestbooks twice, and I figured now that I’ve paid for this space, I don’t have to invite morons to flame me because they can. I’d rather take it up in private with the commentary, good or bad.
4. How did you quit drugs?
I quit cold turkey. I lost contact with all my dealers, I moved, I changed phone numbers, and that was all it took. If you don’t have a connect, you can’t get it (unless you want to buy from a stranger who probably stepped on it with powdered sugar, or if you want to buy from an undercover cop). I was sick of feeling paranoid and sluggish all the time, I looked awful (lost 15 lbs, going from 120 to 104-ish, and my mom asked how I lost “all that weight”, and that was a sign to stop), plus I started stealing from my best friend. It was time to end it, so I did. Screw rehab. I was stronger than a drug. I have never tried heroin and never smoked or shot cocaine. I always snorted the powdered drugs. If you need to shoot a drug into your vein, you’re basically asking to die (from an overdose or AIDS). Besides, heroin created Pearl Jam, so I can’t touch that drug.
5. Don’t you think you’re self-absorbed?
Not all the time. If you read the articles that I’ve written, you will learn something. How can that make me self-absorbed? Also, anyone who has space on the Net is self-absorbed. It’s the perfect place for exhibitionists/voyeurs like me. I love reading about other people who are just as bad as I am.
6. What’s up with using old, bald guys in your layouts instead of Angelina Jolie? Don’t you know that she’s cool?
I like to involve people in my site layouts, but only a few kinds: people I respect/idolize for their talent (music, writing, or acting, to an extent) and/or contribution to pop culture (as sordid as they may be), or unknown models that I find from clothing websites or photo archives. Why advertise someone (like Jolie) who everyone knows and is expecting to see? When the hell was the last time you saw a blog with Yul Brynner as the featured “celebrity”? Well, here, and it will be the only one you will find. It’s also an excuse to be different, and that ain’t not too bad.